


home within you

by penguinsmile



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abuse (specifically from the father), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Childhood Best Friends to Lovers, Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, University Student Iwaizumi Hajime, University Student Oikawa Tooru, its in the second half i swear, iwaoi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:06:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25329007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penguinsmile/pseuds/penguinsmile
Summary: “Tooru…” Iwaizumi says which catches Oikawa’s attention, he opens his eyes from shock, “Lets go home, alright?”Oikawa Tooru builds a home within Iwaizumi Hajime and learns that more than anything, Oikawa just wants to be accepted for who he is.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 13
Kudos: 92
Collections: Oikawa Week 2020





	home within you

**Author's Note:**

> for 2020's oikawa week! happy early birthday to oikawa tooru <3
> 
> day 3: disappointment / slice of life
> 
> tw // major homophobia — after the first scene, there are implied mentions of it towards the end but its mainly hurt/comfort and fluff afterwards.

“I’m gay.” 

The words spits out harshly from Oikawa’s mouth. His fist clenches under the table from the frustration building up inside of him, but he loosens up as Iwaizumi, strong-willed and kind Iwaizumi, meets his hand and locks their fingers together in assurance.

“Excuse me?” Oikawa’s father’s eyebrow rose as he looks at his son with confusion written across his face. Oikawa takes a deep breath.

“Dad, I’m...” Iwaizumi squeezes his palm against Oikawa’s once and turns his head to face the shaking man he’s holding, “I like boys.” 

This time he says it more clearly, with some confidence he musters up from God knows where. 

“How?” Oikawa’s father stares down at his meal in disbelief, “You like...boys?” His last word comes out as a whisper, as if he couldn’t bring himself to state the fact into the world. 

“I do, I think I’ve always known” Oikawa slightly raises his voice, “I think you’ve always known!-” 

“Of course I’ve always known!” Oikawa’s father put his arms out onto the table and brings his body up, unable to look up from his plate of food. “That’s why I sent you to an orthodox school, it’s why I brought you with me to pray every weekend- what about Aihara?”

For the past few months, Oikawa’s father has been setting up family dinners and has pushed Oikawa to get to know their neighbor’s daughter.

“I’ve never liked her like that, we’re only friends-”

“Don’t give me that bullshit, didn’t you two go on a date!?” The standing man roars, “What about all my efforts, Oikawa?” 

“I only did them for you!” Oikawa stands up from his seat with his eyebrows shut close. He knows that if he took one look at his father his emotions would let loose, and he needs to stay calm right now.

Oikawa’s father finally looks up from his dinner and takes a look at his son and Iwaizumi. 

“You... this is your doing, isn’t it?” Oikawa’s father falls quiet. Fear floods his nerves as Oikawa recognizes that his father is no longer speaking directly to him, but Iwaizumi. His eyelids slowly opens to see that his father is staring emptily at Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s locked hands.

Before either Oikawa or Iwaizumi could let go of each other, Oikawa’s father lunges towards Iwaizumi while knocking down several side dishes to the ground in the process. Their hands are forced apart from sheer power and Oikawa falls to the ground as his father grabs the front of Iwaizumi’s dress shirt and lifts him to his feet.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY SON?” Oikawa’s father booms with raw anger tearing through his voice. Tears spill to the ground as Oikawa’s body freezes, his limbs unable to move when his mind and heart are collectively begging him to. “You’ve ruined my son.” 

Iwaizumi isn’t fazed. He shakily reaches out to grab the hand bunched up in his dress shirt and glares up with utter distaste at Oikawa’s father.

“ _You’ve_ hurt your son,” Iwaizumi growls in a low voice, “All I did was be there for him, something you were never able to do.” 

“I did _everything_ for him,” The older man quickly cuts in as he tightens his hold on Iwaizumi’s shirt,, “I tried to introduce him to dozens of girls, it's not my fault he turned down every single one of them-”

“Did you even consider how he felt?” Iwaizumi struggles to keep his voice under control as his eyes drip of disgust, “If you knew how he felt about it, you should have supported him, not scared him away—” 

Iwaizumi stumbles to the ground as a furious hand strikes across his face, but before he could regain his balance and stand, Oikawa has already reached him. He stands protectively in front of Iwaizumi, wet fury burning in his eyes. 

“Don’t you ever touch Hajime,” Oikawa chokes out as he furiously glares up at his father. Oikawa’s father scoffs and loosens his fists to cross his arms across his chest. An amused, but disgusted look fills his face. 

“Why?” The elder man smirks mercilessly, “Is Hajime your little bitch?” 

Oikawa sees red as he grabs the front of his father’s shirt and shoves the elder man to the wall. “You have no right to talk about the one person who’s always stayed by me when you never even tried to.” Oikawa heaves a breath to attempt to calm his nerves, his father only stares down at him, rigid, “He never tried to “straighten me out”, he never tried to force me to do anything I didn’t want to do, he never tried to make me into someone I’m not. Iwa-chan… Iwa-chan accepted me when I couldn’t even do that.” 

“Oikawa, he’s not worth it,” Iwaizumi finally stands, a hand covering the bruise growing on his face.

Oikawa’s father glowers down at his son who is furiously attached to his shirt and rage written across every tear spilling down his cheeks. The elder man reaches for Oikawa’s hands and yanks them off of his shirt. Oikawa’s father turns around, unable to see his son anymore. 

“Leave.” Oikawa winces, “I don’t need some damn fairy in my house.” 

Iwaizumi turns his head towards Oikawa to see his fists unclenching, dangling emptily at his sides. 

“Never thought you’d finally ask,” Oikawa turns his back to his father, eyes shut close as he heaves a breath. The elder man in the room then walks towards the front door of the house and slams it shut behind him. Iwaizumi reaches out for Oikawa’s hand and squeezes it in assurance. 

“Lets go get your things,” Iwaizumi whispers as he scans Oikawa’s face, “You know you’re always welcome at my apartment, right?” Oikawa nods, his eyes still squeezed shut. Iwaizumi sighs and moves in front of Oikawa.

“Tooru…” Iwaizumi says which catches Oikawa’s attention, he opens his eyes from shock, “Lets go home, alright?” 

_Oikawa takes a good look at his room, well aware that it was one of the last times where he would be standing here. He opens his closet and takes out a worn suitcase to prop up on his bed._

_There was an hour left before Iwaizumi would arrive to eat dinner with Oikawa’s father. Although there was still a tiny, miniscule chance Oikawa’s father would accept Oikawa for who he is, Oikawa was not willing to bet his chances and knows he needs to start packing up._

_“Well… I can’t take **everything**.” Oikawa mumbles to himself as he stares at the singular suitcase. Oikawa wasn’t too worried about leaving something important behind, he knew anything of that sort was already at Iwaizumi’s apartment from Oikawa’s constant sleepovers. After some point, Oikawa couldn’t help but start to associate “home” with waking up to the smell of Iwaizumi’s coffee brewing in his kitchen and late nights of falling asleep together on the couch._

_Oikawa turns around to face his desk and looks upwards at the shelves holding years of photographs from his childhood to team photos of his high school volleyball team. His hand carefully reaches for a particular photo, awe is painted in his eyes. It was a photo his older sister took of him and Iwaizumi as scrawny elementary school kids. Iwaizumi was as unruly as ever, a grimace etched onto his face, while Oikawa grinned close to the camera with two peace signs thrown up in the air. Both of them were covered in dirt and muck and bandaids. On that day, younger Oikawa had jumped on the back of Iwaizumi and pushed him into a large puddle of mud, causing the latter to chase Oikawa all over the small backyard. Oikawa remembers quite clearly that after younger Oikawa tripped over a stray tree branch, he scratched his knee and Iwaizumi immediately stopped chasing him around. Instead, he reached into his pocket for a bandaid and placed it carefully above the scratch._

_**“Thanks Iwa-chan!”** Oikawa grins gratefully, **“Who knew you could be so kind, you should always be the best Iwa-chan you could be.”** Laughing, Oikawa stands up and takes off._

_**“That- that doesn't even make sense!”** a younger Iwaizumi exclaims, **“And stop calling me Iwa-chan!”**_

_After tenderly placing the photograph at the bottom of the suitcase, Oikawa heaves a heavy breath and faces his room; he has work to be done._

As he opens his bedroom door, Oikawa quickly grabs the suitcase placed by his bed and leaves immediately. Without looking back, Oikawa dashes down the stairs and gives Iwaizumi a weak smile.

Iwaizumi places Oikawa’s suitcase in the trunk as Oikawa opens the door to the passenger seat. After settling into their respective seats, Iwaizumi turns to face Oikawa and stares thoughtfully at his empty face. 

“Ready to go?” Oikawa snaps out of his gaze and jumps in his seat. 

“Y-yeah!” he responds, “Lets go home.” Iwaizumi’s face softens at these words and with a small smile, he starts the engine to the car. Oikawa’s eyes flutter shut as the car moves further away from his father’s home.

The sun was beginning to set as Iwaizumi pulls up to their destination and Oikawa and Iwaizumi both shut their respective car doors behind them. Orange and yellow hues color the sky as the clouds grow long and the streetlamps flickers on. Oikawa leans against the car as his best friend strolls to the back of the car and he shuts his eyes, taking in the warm evening air. After Iwaizumi takes out the suitcase placed in the trunk, Oikawa slowly opens his eyes to face Iwaizumi, but widens at the sight of a blossoming bruise.

“Iwa-chan…” Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow in acknowledgement as he closes the trunk and looks back up, “It must hurt, right?” Oikawa’s hand shakily hovers above Iwaizumi’s cheek. 

Iwaizumi chuckles, “Oh, this?” He attempts to give a soft smile of some sorts, but Oikawa notices the slight twitch Iwaizumi’s eye gives.

Oikawa’s eyebrows furrows in concern at the nonchalance. The bruise from Oikawa’s father was reddening, clear that it needs treatment as soon as possible. Taking Iwaizumi’s free hand, Oikawa makes his way to the building’s entrance with a little more confidence in his stride. They wait for the elevator as Iwaizumi insists that he could take care of the bruise himself, but Oikawa hears none of it. 

As soon as they reach their apartment, Oikawa walks to the bathroom as Iwaizumi places the suitcase in the kitchen. With an eyebrow raised, Iwaizumi watches as Oikawa rummages through the cabinet above the sink and takes out the first-aid kit and a container of Vitamin K gel. Iwaizumi is about to make his way back to the kitchen when Oikawa stops him. 

“Iwa-chan, you need to sit down! I’ll get the ice pack.” 

“My legs are perfectly functional-”

“I’ll get it!” Iwaizumi sighs in defeat and sits down on the living room couch as Oikawa makes his way to the freezer. But with his arms overflowing with way too many medical treatments, Oikawa stumbles and drops the ice pack and the container of gel with a groan. Iwaizumi hides a smile as he stands up to pick up the fallen objects as his best friend glares at him.

“Again Oikawa, my legs are just fine,” Iwaizumi insists as he sets the container and ice pack on the table placed in front of the couch. Oikawa rolls his eyes as he grasps Iwaizumi’s wrist and brings the two down to sit. He reaches for the ice pack and holds it to the reddening bruise. Iwaizumi cringes at the contact at first but quickly settles under Oikawa’s fixed gaze and silence falls between the two. The sound of a ticking clock and the wrinkling of the plastic covering the ice pack placed gently on Iwaizumi’s cheek fills the room. 

“Why did you want to come to the dinner?” Oikawa breaks the silence, eyes not leaving the ice pack. “You didn’t have to, and… and you ended up getting hurt,” his voice slightly breaks towards the end and he looks away in embarrassment.

“Neither of us saw that coming honestly,” Iwaizumi grumbles as his gaze wanders to the small table across from them. “It doesn’t hurt that much either, you don’t have to fuss so much over it Trashykawa.” Oikawa then sneaks a glimpse at Iwaizumi, taking note of his furrowed eyebrows. 

Oikawa laughs, putting the ice pack down on the table and cups the bottom of Iwaizumi’s jaws in his hands. He’s careful to not touch the bruise, but the loss of the cool ice leaves a stinging feeling on Iwaizumi’s face. 

“I know you’re lying to me Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says quietly as his vision moves from the bruise to the lines under Iwaizumi’s darting eyes which eventually settles under Oikawa’s soft, but considering gaze. Iwaizumi mutters something about being able to take care of himself before his body finally relaxes under familiar hands. 

“There we go.” Oikawa reaches for the Vitamin K container and begins to smear gel over Iwaizumi’s cheek. 

A hushed peace falls over the two again as Oikawa leans closer to completely cover the wound, but Iwaizumi finds himself unable to look elsewhere but at Oikawa this time. 

Oikawa’s presence is known to be grand. Whenever he enters a room, all eyes gradually gravitate towards his radiance and knowing grin, immediately placing those around him, especially those who didn’t know Oikawa, in a captivated trance. After Iwaizumi and Oikawa graduated from high school, Oikawa’s features maturs considerably along with his keen and crafty skills he’s developed when he plays volleyball. After enrolling himself into university with Iwaizumi, his presence only grows.

But Iwaizumi knew him. He knew that under all the radiance and majesty Oikawa holds himself up to he hid mounds of what-ifs and traces of insecurity that only shows face after a faulty volleyball play or under the covers of Iwaizumi’s bed sheets when Oikawa thinks Iwaizumi has fallen asleep. He knows that Oikawa’s father’s words constantly ring through Oikawa’s head and it’ll be a while until he’ll completely recovers from tonight’s dinner. Iwaizumi’s fists curl as the events flash through his head and he swears to himself to stay by Oikawa’s side.

However, Iwaizumi also knows how his heart soars at the sound of Oikawa’s genuine giggles and he knows of the flaming passion that burns under his skin when Oikawa puts his mind to something. 

Iwaizumi is also hyper aware of the way his own hands would betray him when they spent a second too long on Oikawa’s shoulders or how Oikawa was always the first one he looked for whenever Iwaizumi walks into a room. He never expected it as a kid, but Oikawa easily slid under the cracks of Iwaizumi rough facade and became a pillar of support he would always depend on. It was the same the other way around too; when Oikawa asked Iwaizumi if he wanted to join him for dinner that night to come out to his father, Iwaizumi knew that deep inside Oikawa _really_ wanted his presence there.

Oikawa closes the container of Vitamin K gel and sets it aside. 

“All done.” He whispers, careful not to break the careful ambiance the two have created over themselves. Oikawa is still dangerously close to Iwaizumi despite the fact he was finished with medical treatment and Iwaizumi feels his heart in his throat when Oikawa leans in to press his lips softly against the bruise. “Now it’ll heal.” Oikawa smiles gently. 

Iwaizumi’s eyes widen at the sudden act and Oikawa feels a strike of panic run through his mind, _'Why did I do that?—’_

Taking Oikawa’s hands in his own, Iwaizumi sputters out, “That's so childish,” before crashing his lips messily against Oikawa’s. After a moment of shock, Oikawa closes his eyes and begins to kiss Iwaizumi back and slows down their pace. Oikawa places his arms around Iwaizumi’s neck as they steady the kiss and fall into peaceful bliss against each other. 

Iwaizumi’s unwavering and constant belief in Oikawa was a reason to keep pursuing his passions and have hope in himself and his future. Whether it was through waiting for Oikawa after volleyball practice, pressuring him to finish his food, or allowing Oikawa to sneak into his apartment at night to only fall asleep against him on the couch, Oikawa knows he’s found a constant warmth to enwrap himself in. 

But as Iwaizumi releases them from the kiss to place their foreheads against each other, Oikawa realizes Iwaizumi was like a home that he has always had but never truly got to explore. In this moment with Iwaizumi pressed against him as their short breaths mingle together, Oikawa realizes he truly wants to traverse himself into such a world. 

“Woah” Oikawa whispers daftly. Iwaizumi lightly punches Oikawa’s shoulder and Oikawa breathes out ‘mean’. 

“I can’t believe I love a dumbass like you,” Iwaizumi mutters under his breath. Oikawa jumps as the words reaches his ears, eyes growing wide as Iwaizumi’s cheeks heat up.

“Love me?” Oikawa asks carefully, “As in...love-love? Because I love you too then- but not as a best friend! Right? As in actually love me, like you’d go out on a date with me and do coupley things- wait did you call me dumb-” Iwaizumi leans in and presses his lips gently against Oikawa’s; Iwaizumi quickly tilts his head back, a soft smile present on his lips.

“Definitely not as just a best friend.”

Moonlight seeps through the bedroom window, lighting up Oikawa’s vision under the dark room. Iwaizumi and Oikawa eventually decided to go to sleep in an actual bed after dozing off on the couch with the TV blaring in front of them. After settling down into bed, Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s bodies tangles together as the minutes pass. As they find comfort in the warmth of their bodies under the cold night, they hold each other as they attempt to fall asleep.

Iwaizumi is the first to open his eyes and gazes over Oikawa’s face; even though the day has been so hectic, it was relieving to see Oikawa finally get to truly relax and see peace fall over him. His eyes were fluttered shut and his body was steady with every breath he took. Iwaizumi moves a hand from Oikawa’s waist to his forehead and tucks a stray lock of hair behind his ear, when a small voice startles him. 

“I just realized,” Oikawa’s eyes flutter open, “You never answered my question.” Iwaizumi stares at Oikawa, puzzled. 

“You didn’t... _have_ to come with me to the dinner, why didn’t you say no to me?” 

“Because I wanted to go,” Iwaizumi answers simply, “I wanted to make sure you’d stay safe if he didn’t react well. It was the least I could do.” Oikawa’s eyes softens and feels them start to sting with tears. 

“What do you mean the least you could do?” Oikawa murmurs, “You do so much for me. Just the fact you’re letting me stay here…” Oikawa trails off as Iwaizumi reaches a hand out to wipe a tear at the corner of his eye. 

“You’ve done so much for me too, idiot,” Iwaizumi starts as Oikawa hits him lightly for the name, “You’re always pushing me to become ‘the best Iwa-chan I could be’, don’t think for a second you’re not my support either.” 

“That sounds strangely threatening,” Oikawa says, at a loss for anything thoughtful, “I can’t believe you still remember that phrase too.” Iwaizumi huffs and returns his arm back on Oikawa’s waist and pulls the two closer. 

“Your dad’s the most stupid man ever for tonight and everything harmful he’s done to you,” Iwaizumi mumblesunder his breath, “Of all people to define you, he should be last on the list. You’re so much more than that. You’re passionate, whenever you really put your mind to something you give it your all. You’re way too caring, even though you need to take care of yourself… you’re.. you’re Tooru.” Iwaizumi stumbles over his words as Oikawa cups his jaws with his hands, careful to not brush by his healing bruise. 

“Thank you so much Hajime, for everything.” Oikawa whispers as tears well up in his eyes. “You mean so much to me.” 

“I know you’re right.” Oikawa takes a long look at Iwaizumi before continuing, “I’ll always be more than a homophobic man’s words. He’s never really cared for me, especially if he had a feeling I could be gay. It’s just so hard for me to accept myself when I’m exactly what my own father fears, but… I really do want to move on from him, so thank you for staying with me, Hajime.” 

Oikawa plants a kiss at the top of Iwaizumi’s nose and both their hearts surge with adoration. They lean back to take in each others features and the way both of their eyes were glimmering under the moonlight, both thinking about how lucky they were to be in this moment.

“I’m your best friend— no, boyfriend now,” Iwaizumi mumbles as he leans his head against Oikawa’s, “You can always depend on me.” 

“Boyfriend…” Oikawa breathes out with content as his eyes drift shut, “I think I like that.” 

Oikawa wakes up to the smell of coffee and pancakes lingering over his drowsy form. He slowly opens his eyes to meet sunlight streaming through an open window and squints as he sits up in his and Iwaizumi’s bed. After putting on his slippers, Oikawa yawns in satisfaction with his arms reaching above his head. Oikawa then makes his way to the kitchen to see Iwaizumi in front of the stove making breakfast. 

Oikawa’s heart swells with joy as the realization hits him that this would become a regular sight for him, waking up to Iwaizumi in the same apartment as himself.

Iwaizumi pours coffee into two cups, one of them decorated with UFOs, which Oikawa settled into Iwaizumi’s cabinet when he first moved in, and the other decorated with dinosaurs. Before turning to place them on the dining table, Oikawa wraps his arms around Iwaizumi’s waist and snuggles his head against the crook of his neck.

“Careful there, I’m holding two cups of hot coffee,” Iwaizumi warns as Oikawa squeezes against him. 

“Proper etiquette is saying ‘good morning’ first, Iwa-chan.” Iwaizumi rolls his eyes fondly. 

“Good morning Tooru, hope you slept well,” Iwaizumi shuts his eyes and plants a kiss at the top of Oikawa’s head. With his heart in his throat, Oikawa moves his head to face Iwaizumi’s gentle, but firm gaze.

“I did.” Oikawa’s chest swells with affection towards Iwaizumi, strong-willed and kind Iwaizumi. This is it, this is the fondness and warmth Oikawa wants to drown in and surround himself with.

This is home.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading this! i greatly appreciate it :] major thanks to bunny for cheering me on as a wrote this fic <33 
> 
> a final note: along with oikawa's birthday, this weekend haikyuu's manga is ending so i just wanted to thank furudate for a moment for sharing and creating such a lovely world for us all to enjoy. 
> 
> find me on twitter!: [sunbeamshou](https://twitter.com/sunbeamshou)


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